Emotions

Fatigued, elated, saddened, despair, excited, scared. Yes, even for me an unabashed logical thinker, I experience all of these feelings in a single day. On Wednesday of last week we had the blessed opportunity to meet our four newly adopted children Ashenafi-9, Shega- 7, Atanfu- 6, Mihertu-5. We started with a four hour drive to the city of Awash in Eastern Ethiopia which is one of the larger towns in this area. My expectations were to sit, view the countryside and talk about how we would handle our first introduction to this little crew. But there was the growing sense of sadness that overwhelmed Chandra and I. We started in Addis Ababa with traffic that makes any American city look like a well-tuned symphony. Then on to view the landscape and see sights the sights like women carrying wood, approximately 50 pounds on their backs for miles. They carry this wood into the city to sell it and in the process contort their backs and bodies. We saw children in control of horse carts on the way to town, mud huts as small as a typical bathroom in an American house, and many, many empty faces. I don't say all of this to portray an image of misery in Ethiopia because it is not that way. In fact there a sense of joy the Ethiopians have that is more rich than we experience. But watching all of this transfixed the two of us. It was like, "Wow, the poverty here is transfixing." We were almost trance-like as we drove for hours. My plan to sit unaffected and view the Ethiopian country did not account for these emotions. We we arrived in Awash, we ate lunch, and prepared to meet the children. We were to have 1 hour and 30 minutes with the group and were not to inform them that we were adopting the four. Simply, we were to treat this as a visit to the orphanage to interact with all of the children. We drove down a remote dirt road in Awash, simply saying a dirt road would have described all of the roads but the main road in the town. The outside of the building was gated shut with glass on top of the walls to keep people from getting in. Entering in, we were escorted to the dining room area with a small table and bench on the side. The social worker came in to describe that we would be meeting with 19 children today, none of them would know we were there to adopt. Slowly they came in, a small group at first including Shega and Atanfu. Then a larger group including Mihretu and Ashenafi. There was this short period of introduction to all of the children and then an awkward pause until my ever adventurous wife broke the silence by getting out the balls and playing with the group. She has an amazing way with children. Graham and I played a soccer game with Ashenafi and the older children while Aubrey, Emmaline, and Chandra engaged the younger children and Shega with stickers, markers, and paper. Shega, we found out later, is the only girl in the orphanage. We had some goals while there. Number one, engage the kids in a game of trace your foot on the paper. This was our simple way to get the shoe sizes for the four. We made a special mark on the tracing from our kids. Number two, use Graham as a measuring stick for how tall they were. Randomly Graham would walk over to one of the four, and Chandra and I would eye up their sizes. They are smaller than we expected. Number three, see how they interact with the other children. In one instance Chandra saw Shega sharing with another younger boy. Amazing concept for an orphan to be willing to give a prized possession to another child. Our goals had been accomplished. We observed characteristics of sharing, caring, kindness, joy on all of their faces. After only one hour we were told our time was up, but it was an amazingly positive and encouraging visit. The realities of the situation were also evident. No shoes. We played soccer with the kids, and they were wearing crocs that would randomly fly off. It didn't stop them from playing. They would continue to run barefoot on the rocks and kick the ball. No English. In fact we aren't even sure how much Amharic they speak. They shared beds with each other. There were 6 beds in the boys room and 17 boys. You do the math. Clothes falling off of them or holes in everything, no toilet, an outside shower, a small dirt play area. Questions begin to arise like who sleeps together? How will we teach them to use a toilet? toilet paper? How will we speak to them? Do they use soap? Have they ever brushed their teeth? How will they react to the city? To bright colors? An airplane? They are important questions that we need to deal with but not now. Not after the wonderful experience. But if not now when? It is easy to see how your mind can go down the never ending rabbit hole if you let it. It is hard to give words to an experience such as this, and I do not give these mental images justice. I hope you catch a glimpse of the roller coaster of emotions that even I, an unemotional male, have experienced here, and I am not even ready to mention the DVD of their home and family history. It is too heavy to even process yet. So in all of this there is a juxtaposition of ideas. The extreme poverty vs. what we know lies ahead for them on the journey.  My response? It is same anytime I see a task so big, so overwhelming that no one person or even team can solve it. Dear God, please... give us strength... give us peace... prepare these kids... prepare our family. You started this journey Lord, give us the fortitude to endure. Amen.

Control

We arrive at the airport fatigued, utterly exhausted from 17 hours of flying and arrive in a world that looks nothing like ours, almost the antithesis of our world. We attempt to maintain control... in everything. From tight schedules to handpicked schools to nicely manicured lawns, we control, or attempt to control everything. Here it seems as everything is out of control... or almost out of control. In my mind it is as if one small twist or turn can send everything into a tailspin. Water covering the road in rainy season, there is no way to travel to Awash. Paperwork lost, come back next week. And on and on. But this is how they live, organized chaos. But to them it isn't chaotic at all; they adapt. Trucks collide, everyone creates a road on the dirt. Children on the side of the road without a bottle, throw your water bottle out the window to them. No toilet, pee on the side of the road. No toilet paper, use your left hand. Ok, maybe a little over the top. Control: it is a fascinating attraction, or should I say mirage. I struggle when I don't have control at work, at home, in life. But I know and you know that we have very little that we control. The economy slows, natural disaster occur, a father dies and what happens? We flounder and flail feeling as though everything is falling apart when, in reality it is the way of the world. Trying to pad ourselves from this reality makes the fall so much greater when loss of control occurs. So how do I deal with this struggle? In my logical mind I can create a framework. We are broken people who live in a broken world. As a follower of Christ I know this from the truth of sin as I see it in my heart and as I see it everyday in the world. Science confirms this with concepts like entropy and erosion. We are in the process of becoming less and less complex. Or to say it another way, we are deteriorating. I am called to redeem my little part of the world. It is was Christ meant when he said "You are the salt of the earth." We help to keep the world from deteriorating any faster than it already is. So I make these logical assertions but realize that coming face to face with sin and brokenness is simply well... overwhelming. It is heavy. It is again out of my control. The only one who can make sense of the madness is a God who sees all, knows all, and is in all. And I trust that He will redeem this out of control world, someday... someday.  

I'm back to continue. Okay, where were we.....Oh yes, the lion zoo! The lion zoo was a place that had mostly lions, but there were some other animals too. Of course, we were more of a spectacle than the lions. So, we had a little group of followers. One boy tried to tell us the names of the animals and what they were called in Amharic. He was very nice, and I think he enjoyed hanging out with us. We learned that lion in Amharic is "ambasa". After that we continued and went to "the women who formerly carried wood". Here there were women who were weaving cloth or "shes" in Amharic. This facility was designed to give these women who formerly went up to the mountains and gathered wood an opportunity to support themselves and their families. This way it was safer for them, and they were earning money in the process. Therefore a better deal all around. We watched them weave for a little bit, and then went to the gift shop where they sold these "shes". Emmy, Mom, and I bought some, and then we were on our way. Next we went to the Ethiopian Orthodox church. One of the men standing there took us in, led us around, and gave us a tour. It was really interesting and very historical!! Throughout this whole trip Emmy had still not been feeling well, so we decided we'd go get some dinner, and then go back to the hotel. We went to Island Breeze, and had pizza. It was very good, and very interesting to watch them cook it in their brick oven. Emmy was feeling really bad at this point and very often would get sick to her stomach. By the time dinner was over she was laying on the table....asleep. We went back to the guest house and she sent straight to bed. That was the end of day one!! Day Two This morning we were supposed to leave at seven to begin our journey to see the kids. So we got up around six fifteen, and began getting ready. We had to pack a whole new suitcase for tonight, because we were spending the night in Awash, where the kids were. Previously we had bought toys to take to all the kids at the orphanage, so we had all these to be packed too. We got everything ready as quickly as we could and were soon ready to go. We had a four hour drive to Awash, so we were prepared. We took our travel journals, a book each, the electronic devices, and a couple of travel friendly games. We were soon off, and were taking millions of pictures as we went. So we rode, and we rode, and we rode. We played some games, took some pictures, chatted....everything you can think of to do in the car, we did. So now, here I am, typing on a EXTREMELY dusty road. We are fifteen minutes away from them. Now it's Thursday, and we just arrived back at the guest house. But that's not where we stopped, so I won't begin there. Yesterday we made it to Awash after what seemed like a day in the car, and checked into the guest house. Then we went and ate lunch, all in anticipation of three thirty. That was when we were supposed to meet them! Finally the time came around for us to go and meet them and we were ready! It was a ten minute drive, but it seemed like forever. When we arrived we were informed that there were twenty kids living at the orphanage, and eighteen of them would be playing with us in our slot of time which was an hour. The toys we had bought we got out and played with them. We had bubbles, a kite, paper, stickers, balls, and cars. We tried to space them out so we wouldn't run out of fun things to do. One of the boys got into our bag, and found one car, and took it out with the other kids. Soon we were being pestered with the word "makina". "Makinas, makinas!!" They said. We tried to figure out what they wanted, and then the social worker told us that meant car in Amharic, so out came the "makinas", and boy were they a big hit!! No one wanted to do anything but play with those "makinas"!! They loved them. Levi/Ashenafi was a very happy, content, and smiley boy. He was very small for his size, but he was a very kind and thoughtful boy. Evelyn/Shega was very kind and thoughtful. She was always willing to give up her fun to make sure that the littler ones had all they needed. She was very good at playing by herself. She was the only girl at the orphanage. All of the other girls had moved into the city recently. Lee/Atnafu was like a little old man. He preferred to shake hands rather than give high fives or pounds. He was also very thoughtful and helpful. Orin/Mirhiretu was a very quiet and playful boy. He liked to interact with others as he played, rather than play with himself. Overall they were all very patient and helpful with the little ones. They were willing to wait for a very long time to get their turn, or join in the games. They were also very beautiful, all of them! We were all very pleased with their social and interactive skills. None of them seemed to have any major problems, which proved our concerns wrong. When we returned to the guest house we ate dinner and just relaxed; it was good to have some time to just think. That concluded day two. Day Three This morning we had plans to go to a wildlife park on the way out of Awash, so we left at seven again. The park was very dry since they're in the middle of their summer, but it was good. We saw Oryx, Dick-Dicks, Gazelles, Guinea-Fowels, Baboons, and Hornbills. We saw a beautiful mountain landscape, and very pretty salt water falls. We searched the falls for any crocodiles, and had no luck until dad stumbled upon one. We were able to get very close to it, which means great pictures. It was a small one, but it was cool. Overall the park was very enjoyable. I'm glad we were able to go. Then we started our four hour journey home. It wasn't as bad as the first one because we were beginning to get used to the potholes, rocks, heat, no seatbelts, and dust. Dad and I even slept for a good portion of the ride. We made it back to Addis, and Mom and Dad had to go to the social workers office and watch a video about the kids lives with their mom before they came to the orphanage.  I shall continue writing about our journey soon my friends!! Aubrey for the Stinsons

Our Journey So Far....

Wow!!  I'm truly amazed at how far we have come....seems like just this morning we first got the call!!  God's is so amazing, I don't even know where to begin!

Ahhhhh......the plane rides....I guess that's where we left off, and I'll begin there.  So, picture this, a beautiful day, church in the morning, and three little boys.  You see, these three little boys are my brothers, and they  were so confused and nervous about what was to come.  They knew JUST enough about the court date to know that something weird and strange was going to happen.....and they didn't like it.  We came home from church, all the while with testy, scared boys, and showered, because we were not going to have a chance to shower until Tuesday evening.  Ma Ju and Papa Larry were going to drive with us and the boys to the airport, and then take them to Bolivar.  The grandparents and our aunt and uncle were going to take turns watching them while we were gone, and it just so happened that Aunt Kimmy and Uncle Jeremy, in Bolivar, got the first turn.  We really had an EXTREMELY smooth time at the Springfield airport, so all too quickly it was time to say goodbye.  We said our goodbyes, and continued onto the next leg of our journey, the first flight.

We picked up some dinner, and sat at our gate waiting to board the plane.  On this flight, it would be me and Emmy sitting together, Dad by himself, and Mom and Graham in a whole different section of the plane.  We were all in a good mood on this flight, so Emmy and I easily knowcked out some school.  This flight was only and hour and twenty minutes, so it really didn't feel that bad at all.  This flight from Springfield to Chicago passed quickly.  In Chicago now, we patiently waited for an hour to board our plane.  On this flight it was getting late, so we decided that we'd do just a little bit of school, but basically watch a part of a movie we had downloaded.  This flight was also an hour and twenty minutes.  This flight over, we were in Washington.  Originally we had planned that since it was already midnight, we would just spend the night in the airport, but once we realized how long our layover was(from 12:30 A.M. to 11:00 A.M.), we figured we should get some decent sleep, so we decided to find a hotel.  We did that pretty quickly, and God blessed us with a less than half the normal price rate.  We just went straight to bed to get as much sleep as possible, to be ready for the next leg.

We took a shuttle to the airport and went through customs again, and waited.  Now, this was to be the thirteen hour flight.  We were trying not to think about how long it would be, so we were patient at the time.  We boarded and were good, until about four hours into it.  This is where it began getting long.  Since we were going through many different time zones, the routine of the plane was designed  to help us get used to Addis's time.  So, we had a snack in place of lunch, dinner, and breakfast, and designated sleeping periods.  On this flight we were positioned as so; Graham, Emmy, and I, and then Mom and Dad across the isle differennt place.  It was finally time to sleep, and we got all comfy....or as comfy as you can get in between two people on a plane....Emmy fell asleep right away, and I was dozing for about an hour.  When I woke up, Emmy was still asleep on top of me, and Graham was playing a game.  Emmy woke up about thirty minutes later I think, and we tried to rearrange.  Now, the way we were doing it was Graham was on the window side, I was in the middle, and Emmy was on the other side.  The lucky people were the ones that had a whole row to themselves, and could lay down and stretch out.  The man in the row directly behind us one of those lucky ones, and his knees were right behind my seat, so I couldn't lay my seat back.   I tried to get comfortable, but Emmy and Graham were both really hiper, and not willing to go to sleep, so they just kept wiggling and moving around, so every time I was about to fall asleep they'd wake me up by moving around.  I finaly asked emmy if I could switch her seats, so I could lay down and not be squished by two wriggling siblings!!  Mom, Dad, and I ended up sleeping for most of the rest of the way.  We made it, but I am so tired of planes....

Anyway, it was 7 A.M. here, and we were ready to get to the guest house, and just rest.  So as we are going through and getting our passports checked, a girl probably about my age started following us.  We didn't really pay much attention to her at the moment, because wehave to remember that we are the minority here, and we are the ones that stand out.  There are not many whites here, other than the foreign visitors like us.  But soon, as our last passport was getting checked she tried to take it from the lady that was checking them.   Thankfully dad got it first, but then we knew she was trouble, and were keeping our eyes open.  She continued to follow us, and tried to take some luggage from Mom, but mom just held on tighter and kept walking.  Now, we were outside, and there were police watching, so she just kept asking for our passports and luggage, but we just ignored her.  We finally found who we were looking for, and we left.  Now the tiredness was really beginning to hit all of us, but especially Emmy and Graham, since they didn't really sleep all that much on the plane.  We got the the guest house, and decided that we would leave at about one thirty to go sightseeing.  But first, we were going to nap.  We did that, and Mom, Dad, and I were ready, but...... Emmy and Graham were NOT!!!!  Anyway, we were waiting for our driver to get here, and next thing we know, Graham and Emmy are both COMPLETELY out in the lobby sort of area.  Now Emmy was beginning to feel bad while we waited, and woke up, went to the bathroom, and threw up, three times.  It was bad, and we were debating whether or not we should go when they arrived.  Emmy said she didn't want to ruin our fun, and that she was feeling a LITTLE bit better, so we went.  We drove around a little to just see the people and what  they  were doing, and then we went to a lion zoo.
I must close for now, but I will continue with more later.   Please pray for my sister to feel completely beter.  Tomorrow is the day we meet the Fource.

Aubrey for the Stinsons

The Journey

The journey begins.  Most of us leave tomorrow-- by most of us I mean Matt, Chandra, Aubrey, Emmaline, Graham-- for our first trip to Ethiopia.  During that trip we will travel to Ethiopia, visit the orphanage, meet the children, and make our court appearance. 
We simply ask that you would pray for this trip as the Lord brings it to your mind. 

Pray for long suffering... we are sleeping in the airport tomorrow night to save money. 
Pray for flexibility... a schedule in Africa is not the same as a schedule here. 
Pray for bonding...our first meeting with the children.  We aren't allowed to tell them we are adopting them yet.
So, just simply pray and thank you for being willing to.